please ignore my dead aunt sally

wifipasswords:

my sex tape is just going to be me crying alone for an hour

(via 0ctodad)

fine whatever i will just date myself

(Source: shewhaalebeloved, via 0ctodad)

whatshouldwecallme:

the-teen-paula-deen:

I would accept the invitation to your wedding but i would hate to look better than the bride

(Source: theteenpauladeen, via 0ctodad)

allmymetaphors:

if you think that i won’t listen to the same song 400 times in a row you are dead wrong 

(via profpic)

deodrant:

i’m literally not close friends w anyone i’m sort of just like semi-friends w everyone 

(via foodtrucker)

unregardless:

hey yo

be nice to people

bc most people are already sad so like

why be mean

(via shutupaubrey)

adamusprime:

i wear your granddad’s clothes, your granddad is cold and naked

(via lydiasimmunity)

trillow:

yes i’d like to trade in my notes for some prizes now

(via jesuschristvevo)

vvenis:

whoever said money can’t grow on trees is just setting limits on technology

(Source: coolruby64, via msjewbooty)

kushdrinker:

it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing 

(via deodrant-deactivated20130413)

i spend about 457% of my day looking at myself in the mirror